Several years ago my dear friend Rebecca recommended I read the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert based on Elizabeth’s true story. Being the avid reader and consumer of books that I am, and trusting Rebecca’s taste, I bought the book and settled in for an enjoyable time.
To say that I loved the book would be a severe understatement. Here was a woman who said “I want to go someplace where I could marvel at something.” I completely understood that! I read that and inside I yelled “Yes!! Me too!!” I had, just like Liz, lost my appetite for life. I was married and raising three beautiful children. We had a nice house, went on vacations and I was a stay-at-home mom. Perfect, right? Wrong. I was surviving and laying in the bed that I had made. I did not love my husband, though he was a very good man. We had been married for 8 years, together for 12, and it was comfortable but not fulfilling. In the last few years of my marriage, I had begun to regain my appetite for life, my desire for happiness, and I started to believe that it might even be possible for me to be happy. I just needed to find what it was that made me happy. I slowly gained the confidence to ask my husband for a divorce and before I knew it, it was over. I felt liberated and ready to go! Where? I wasn’t sure.
In the story, Liz is financially able to take a year off from work and travel to Italy, India and Bali. Along the way she encounters people who touch her life in unexpected ways and seem to help her transform. She spends a great deal of time in an ashram learning the importance of self-reflection and in Bali she meets a Balinese fortune teller named Ketut. Ketut is a Guru of sorts, and in a very simple way passes on some life-changing messages to Liz. Incredible. ( It’s at this point that I must recommend you see the movie if you have not. The locations they filmed at and some of the scenes are so awe-inspiring I was filled with longing.)
Here is where the trouble started. I was in the same emotional place that Liz finds herself in and Liz finds renewal on her sojourn. That means that I too must take a sojourn somewhere and find my own ashram and my very own Ketut. Realistically, that could not happen. I not only had three children to care for, I also did not have any money. This troubled me a great deal because there was nothing near me that remotely resembled places I might discover a Ketut at. How would I acquire what I needed for full enlightenment? I had been on my “spiritual journey” for several years but Liz seemed to be catapulted ahead.
Now, let’s fast forward some years to my event in June 2011, the 3rd Annual Through The Veil. Speaker Panache Desai was there and had given this incredibly inspiring talk. I had familiarized myself with him prior to the event, by watching videos featuring him and likened him to a modern-day, better looking Deepak Chopra. His message was so simple and so clear and the truth of it resonated within me like nothing else I had experienced. So, here we are at the final day of the event, and it is the speakers panel where everyone can ask questions. Because I could
I asked Panache my question; “Panache, I’ve read Eat, Pray, Love and even saw the movie and just like Liz, I want to go on a spiritual quest and meet people who can help me but I can’t afford to do that. What do you suggest?”
In true Panache style, he answered my question with his own question, “Why do you need to find someone?” After I answered that it would be so I could learn what they know, he explained a truth that set me free. I have all the answers I need within me. I am my own guru. My way of thinking made me focus on some imagined lack within myself. I needed to acquire what I believed someone else had. Initially, this made me feel uncomfortable and, in fact, a little mad. I had been focused on this quest outside of myself for so long, to let it go meant I would have to let go of something I had identified myself as, a seeker. Then something strange happened, as I let his words settle in over the next several days. I felt this tremendous relief. My shoulders literally relaxed so much that I was consciously aware of them dropping down.
In this moment, I am aware of everything I need to know. Everything there is to know is within me, within my soul. When I read a book, see something on tv, hear a friends words, like Panache’s, my soul is simply reminded of what it already knows. This is why we sometimes have a physical reaction (for me it’s getting the chills) to things we see or hear or think. It is the body’s physical reaction to the truth.
I am, and you are, perfect in this moment. I am, and you are, divine in every way. Every single thing about you is perfect. You have access to all you need to know. You just need to awaken it, you just need to remember. When you realize that, you too will relax and exhale into the fullness of that knowledge.
And so, Eat, Pray and Love all that you possibly can, enjoying the perfection of each moment but never question your completeness. Go on your quest if you so choose but be aware that you will be led back to yourself.
Panache will be this years Keynote Speaker at the 4th Annual Through The Veil in Atlanta, June 8th – 10th. Please visit www.throughtheveil.org for more info.
Panache Desai www.panachedesai.com
